It can be difficult to determine your relationship status at times. Do you have questions regarding your relationship with someone you’ve been seeing or hooking up with for a while? This is referred to as a ‘situationship’. This week, The Pioneer’s TEJAL SINHA speaks with specialists to gain additional views on the subject.
Situationships are defined as hookups with emotional benefits, as opposed to “friends with benefits,” which are usually platonic relationships that progress into sexual ones. Clearly defined jobs and a lack of commitment are commonalities between the two.
While we were doing our research, we came across research by Real Research Media that states:
l 43.1% believe situationship is a reflection of the pragmatic attitude that the current generation takes to most of their demands.
l 40% believe that a situation should be regarded as an official relationship status.
l 30.34% believe that the current generation favours situational partnerships over committed relationships.
Dr. Vidya Raj, PhD, relationship and marriage counsellor, shares, “Situationships are great when you know you don’t have the emotional space to care for and hold another person, yet you still want to retain them in your life. The term ‘relationship’ has also grown into something burdened with a greater feeling of duty and commitment, which not everyone may wish to engage in. If you’re in a situationship, make sure you’re comfortable with it. Expectations must be correctly balanced. Being in a situationship while expecting relationship treatment leaves room for hurt. A situationship, like any other phase, necessitates the agreement of all parties concerned. Describe the bounds of your paradigm. Communication is crucial since any collaboration is fluid and dynamic, and everyone is on the same page.”
Wondered what the characteristics of a Situationship are? Well, Dr. Sandhria Joshua, a certified relationship specialist, highlights a few for us, and here’s what they are:
The relationship is ambiguous: You and your spouse may not have had the “What are we?” discussion in order to define the relationship, set expectations, and identify boundaries. It may feel too soon to bring up the subject, or you may not feel comfortable doing so.
There is no coherence: A lack of consistency is a big indicator that you’re in a situationship. It might be difficult to predict when you’ll see your partner next, how long it will take them to answer a text, or whether they will make the effort to reach out.
The future is not mentioned: People who are in a relationship may prepare for the future in some way, whether it’s going to a nearby event or making long-term plans to settle down and start a family. There is usually no talk of the future in a situationship.
The link is merely coincidental: Even if you and your spouse spend time together and are intimate, you may not have built a deep emotional connection. You may notice that your companion never asks you personal questions during the talk.
Relationships are based on convenience: You and your spouse may not prioritise each other or go out of your way to see each other; instead, you may arrange spur-of-the-moment plans based on convenience, such as if you have a gap in your schedule or if something else doesn’t work out.
It’s not exclusive: You and your partner may not have discussed exclusivity, and one or both of you may be seeing other people.
Not much follow-up: you and your spouse may be in “relationship mode” in person, but when you’re separated, you may go back to “casual mode” by text or phone. She suggests that you observe your partner not taking much initiative or following up with you on chats or plans.
“Navigating between two sorts of relationships with different people can be difficult. Relationships are unique, and no two are alike. Determine for yourself what characteristics of your healthy relationship make you happy. Apply the same logic to your relationship. Just because something isn’t perfect, or even excellent, doesn’t mean you’re not getting something out of it that you want in your life. Taking the time to think about your needs can assist you in identifying what makes it difficult for you to break away. A toxic relationship must be treated as if it were a bandage. You’ll need a strong, decisive move as well as a swift pull. Boundaries are usually the first to vanish, and they must be re-established. Make a plan once you’ve decided what you want to get out of this. What, if any, communication channels do you want to keep open? If you encounter each other on a regular basis, devise appropriate behaviours for you as well as a backup plan in case your boundaries are not respected. If you want to stay friends, take a few months off from communicating before speaking again on a predetermined date. This will provide you with the necessary distance and space to reconsider,” explains Dr. Sandhria.
Mental health impact due to situationship
“Both parties may be dishonest about what they expect from the partnership. Typically, one person is pleased with the informal nature of the relationship, while the other hopes for something more. The mental health implications for the individual desiring more can be enormous, as they may begin to combine their feeling of self-worth with getting the approval of the other person. Furthermore, because situational relationships are typically superficial, the partner desiring more usually does not know the other person well, causing them to idealise their spouse and, as a result, despise themselves. People who find themselves in these types of relationships frequently struggle with self-worth and are drawn to partners who make them believe they must earn love,” highlights Dr. Ritu Shah, a mental health professional.
What to do if you’re in a relationship:
1 Be open about your emotions.
2 Request what you want.
3.Avoid taking a passive approach.
4 Explain your position.
