National Commission for Women chairperson Rekha Sharma, making the most of her upbringing in a family that valued gender parity, is harnessing the best from her team today to make women empowerment and women safety a reality in several parts of the country. Under her leadership, NCW has crossed several milestones and launched initiatives with lasting impact, be it the 24/7 helpline providing support to women affected by violence, gender sensitization program for police personnel, WhatsApp helpline number to assist pregnant women with medical emergencies, or ‘Empowering Women through Entrepreneurship’ programme.
Rekha has become an inspiration to women, because, despite her humble background, she has risen to a position of great influence with sheer hard work and determination. In a conversation with The Pioneer’s SHIKHA DUGGAL, Rekha shares how she has been fearless from her childhood, how she manages to chair Mahila jansunwais (public hearings) in several states, and what drives her to address issues related to female prisoners, among other things.
STUBBORNNESS A VIRTUE
During the house warming ceremony of our new house in Dehradun, all my cousins decided to go to Nehru Park. Later, they dropped the idea. I was so stubborn that I sneaked out of the house, went alone to the park and enjoyed myself. I came back in the evening, really afraid of my parents. I chose to hide myself and surfaced only after everybody had started searching for me in anxiety.
CHANGING FACE OF NCW
When I joined the National Commission for Women, it was not in the limelight as a changemaker. People were thinking of it as a parking place for women who were not getting electoral places. It was me who changed the narrative! I advised women to be economically independent and empowered. I demanded strengthening of law and order amid the rise in the incidents of crimes against live-in partners. I visited states following complaints of sexual harassment and the list is endless. So, now what happens is even if it is not my job to secure them, they still come to the Commission with their complaints.
HELPING THE DISTRESSED
Half the time I am travelling on NCW-related work. I believe more in working on the field than in sitting in an air-conditioned room. Seminars do not fulfill the services of the position I hold today! I can bring changes for women only if I am present with them; otherwise, it would be pure lip-service.
HAPPY CHILDHOOD
I was born in 1963 in a middle class family. My father was a government servant. We are five siblings. There was no gender discrimination in our house. Although it was tough to run the family with five children like us, my parents ensured that all of us got equal opportunities for education. There was nothing extravagant in my childhood. I made my life good on my own terms, because I was very different from all the other siblings. I had a bicycle to myself and that made me independent. I used to do chores right from the time when I was in class 4. I used to participate in debates, and it was my father who used to write scripts for me! He was the biggest cheerleader in my life. He accepted me the way I am. He never forced me to be like the other siblings.
TALENT BLOOMED IN DEHRADUN
I have sweet memories of gushing streams, deep ravines, lustrous valleys and majestic mountain ranges in Dehradun. I can see why everywhere Dehradun girls do better than girls from other states. I have been on my own since the time I was born there. I saw a shocking difference in politics when political leaders (women) used to request for lifts from men. I was the opposite! I saw them addressing other men as ‘bhai sahabs’, but I never did that. That didn’t go down well with those men, for obvious reasons. I used to address them by their names! It became a very big thing in Haryana that I am not addressing them as bhai sahab!
FATHER’S IDEALS
My father was a very forward-looking kind of a man. My mother wasn’t so educated, but no regrets. She used to stop me from wearing clothes of my choice. I was then interested in wearing pants. I didn’t want to wear a salwar kameez. My mother wanted me to be my older sisters’ replica. But my father always stood by me in my sartorial choices!
GETTING MARRIED
I was 15 years old when I met my future husband. I had decided to get married to him after finishing my graduation. I was the one who proposed to him! On hindsight, that was stupidity. I was in my teens and did not know about appropriate choices in life. I just went ahead with loads of affection! There was no concept of dating in those days. As soon as I completed my graduation, my husband joined the army. Prior to that he was doing law in Dehradun! He didn’t say yes to me until he joined the army. Post that we got married. We traveled across the country and rehabilitated army wives. They were ‘our women’.
DAUGHTERS
DOMINATE
I have two daughters and along with my daughters we dominate the whole family (laughs). I believe every university should offer a course on digital safety to protect women from cybercrimes. Women should speak up when they are targeted by cyber bullies. Reporting is a must.
SENSE OF CONTROL IN LIFE
I have always been self-assured by nature. I remember working in a smaller position than this in Panchkula. Without any hesitation, I used to approach DGs and all. I never took advantage of my political power! I never ever made for myself a professional name card; for, the public should know me by my work.
BEING ECONOMICALLY
INDEPENDENT
Don’t marry a person who does not agree with you on critical issues. Marriage is not important. It is important to be economically independent. Every girl should be economically empowered. We need to ensure that we treat our children with respect and refrain from treating them as possessions. It is important to treat children, especially when they come of age, as friends. We must allow them to confide in us about their problems, sorrows, and joys.
LIVING LIFE ON HER TERMS
Right from childhood I have tried to change things that are not right in terms of gender parity. People in Dehradun know me as a bold woman! Once when I came across an instance of eve teasing, I bashed up those boys single-handed. My nickname in school was khatra. Then I settled in Panchkula, where my daughters were studying. That’s when I discussed with my father that I wanted to enter politics!
DIFFERING SIBLINGS
My older sisters are poles apart in comparison to me. You won’t believe they will never step out of their sasural without permission. They ‘ask’ and I ‘tell’ — at my home! This mentality of asking permission from a man angers me. Now, the tables have turned. I take care of my older sisters.
BJP DOES HOLD A LOT OF MUSLIM FACES
Bhartiya Janata Party is not a party meant only for Hindus. To think like this is very wrong. I am not their spokesperson anymore, but I am an individual too. My organisation, National Commission for Women, is not a political body. Still, I would like you to know that the BJP party holds a lot many Muslim faces too! Many of the political leaders’ kids are married to Muslim men or women. Bharatiya Janata Party is not dividing society. They are only talking about nationalism!
NO PR
I don’t want to get promoted in the media! My tweets are official. For me, the Commission is a priority. I believe in gender equality. On Twitter, these days people are talking also about men rights. They think people like us are against them. I am not against you: I am just for women, mainly because of the age-old exploitation they have suffered.
ENDLESS EMERGENCY CALLS
I am used to pulling all-nighters now. We were working non-stop. I do have a team, but when senior officials are involved I have to jump in for rescue. Emergency calls are getting way too taxing for me nowadays. I have requested people to WhatsApp me their stories instead.
COMMENT ON WRESTLERS’ STIR
We are not talking to the media. That doesn’t mean we are not doing anything about it. We have written to the Commissioner of Delhi Police, asking for an action taken report. We will soon increase the number of special cells to expand our reach. We need to strengthen our visibility through active engagement in communities to put down gender-based violence.
SUPPORTING VULNERABLE SECTIONS
I joined the Bhartiya Janata Party in 1996. I was appointed as the district secretary. Gradually as the days passed by, I started to handle their social media and became their spokesperson for some time. My priority was to become a social worker; so, I was running an NGO in Haryana, giving opportunities of work to women over there. I had been to the interior areas of Haryana where I heard stories of women suffering with husbands who never did chores and spent their entire salary on drinking liquor. I then had no idea how NGOs work; so, I put in my own money to run that organisation. The business that we started from that NGO was making sevaiya on our own through maida and you won’t believe my daughters and my house help was a part of it too. Another packing machine was kept in my house. I marketed that product to Panchkula, Mohali and Chandigarh.
