insulating Men’s mental health across phases in life
In the context of June being Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, The Pioneer’s Tanisha Saxena takes a close look at pivotal transitions in life that could affect men’s mental well-being. From embracing fatherhood to navigating single parenting, addressing body image issues, and redefining retirement, we have got your back during critical phases of life. While healthcare experts provide noteworthy insights into the psychological toll associated with these transitions, men going through one or more of critical phases in life enlighten us about their journeys and coping mechanisms.
According to recent studies by the World Health Organisation (WHO), men account for around 69% of global suicides, highlighting a significant disparity in mental health outcomes between genders. Men are three times more likely to commit suicide compared to women due to societal pressures to suppress emotions. Men’s mental health has often been overshadowed by societal norms that encourage stoicism and emotional suppression. However, the importance of addressing mental health issues among men over major transitions or concerning body image is being increasingly recognised.
Single fatherhood: Navigating life after loss
Single fatherhood presents numerous challenges, be it due to divorce or death of spouse. These circumstances can significantly impact men’s mental health, leading to emotional distress, depression, and anxiety. For divorced fathers, the end of a marital relationship often brings intense feelings of sadness, grief, and loss, similar to mourning a death. Men may face an identity crisis, especially if their role as a husband is central to their self-concept. Adjusting to a single life can be challenging, and social isolation is another common issue; as men may lose mutual friends and are less likely to seek emotional support. Additionally, the strain of taking on the full parental role can lead to feelings of inadequacy or guilt.
Financial stress from alimony, child support needs, and legal fees exacerbate mental health issues for divorced fathers. Physical health often declines due to stress, causing sleep disturbances, weight changes, and an increased risk of substance abuse. Self-esteem suffers, particularly if conflicts or perceived failures in the marriage play a role. Societal expectations for men to be stoic and self-reliant often prevent them from seeking necessary help.
“Divorce can lead to profound emotional pain and identity loss,” says Dr. TR John, psychologist at Aster Medicity. “Many men struggle with an identity crisis and social isolation, compounded by financial and parental stress.”
Raj Gupta, an employee at Accenture, shares his experience: “Going through my divorce felt like my entire world had collapsed. I had always seen myself as a husband and a provider, so when my marriage ended, I struggled with a profound sense of failure and a loss of identity. The emotional pain was overwhelming, but I felt pressured to maintain a facade of strength and resilience, as society often expects men to handle these situations with stoicism. This made it incredibly difficult to open up to friends or seek emotional support.”
The financial burden added another layer of stress. “Between alimony, child support, and legal fees, I found myself constantly worrying about money, which affected my ability to focus on work and other aspects of life. Therapy provided me with some safe space to express my feelings and work through my emotions. It also helped me develop strategies to manage stress and rebuild my self-esteem. While the journey was far from easy, seeking help was a crucial step in my recovery,” he adds.
For those who become single fathers due to the death of a spouse, the experience is equally, if not more, destabilising. The sudden disruption of family structure and routine can exacerbate feelings of grief, failure, and loneliness. Adjusting to new living arrangements and solo parenting dynamics often pose significant challenges.
“With the shift towards nuclear families, fathers are more involved with their children from birth, sharing responsibilities like napping, changing clothes, and homework. This increased involvement fosters emotional connections between fathers and children, reducing sole dependence on mothers,” explains Ratan Singh, an entrepreneur and single parent to two children.
“Initially challenging, I found support from family and friends, who helped me build a support circle. Spending time with my kids, communicating, and enjoying shared hobbies strengthened our bond. Being an entrepreneur provided flexible work hours, which was advantageous.
Seeking help fosters a sense of community and helps maintain mental well-being,” says Ratan. But not everyone is as lucky as him.
Mayank Neha Goyal lost his wife three and a half years ago, and his journey thereafter highlights the profound impact of loss on single fatherhood. “I lost my wife to a heart attack and have since embraced the role of a single parent. What we often miss out on is how it is not just about the responsibility of raising a kid but also losing a partner with whom you would have shared the emotional journey.”
Coping strategies include seeking support from friends, family, or professional counsellors, which can provide emotional relief and practical advice. Support groups, specifically for divorced men, offer a sense of community and understanding. “Establishing new routines and maintaining physical health through regular exercise can help mitigate stress and anxiety. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and hobbies that promote relaxation and self-reflection can aid in emotional recovery,” explains Dr. John.
Parenthood: Where responsibility and excitement converge
The transition to fatherhood, while joyous, can also be a source of anxiety and stress. New fathers may worry about their ability to provide for their family, bond with their child, and support their partner. Playback singer Hemachandra Vedala candidly shares, “Becoming a father was one of the most rewarding yet challenging experiences of my life.”
Similarly, several high-profile men, including Shah Rukh Khan, Akshay Kumar, Saif Ali Khan, Imran Khan, and Rannvijay Singha have openly shared their anxieties and challenges while embracing fatherhood. They have discussed the pressures, responsibilities, and emotional changes that fatherhood brought into their lives, contributing to important conversations about parenting and mental health in public forums.
Recent studies highlight that about 10% of new fathers experience postpartum depression and anxiety, with approximately 25% seeking therapy or counselling for parenting-related stress. Despite this, stigma around men seeking mental health support remains a barrier, exacerbated by the pressure on fathers to be strong and self-reliant. Work-life balance issues further contribute to anxiety and depression among fathers, underscoring the need for accessible mental health resources and support networks for new dads.
The transition to fatherhood involves significant changes and challenges for men in traditional societies. Fathers often take on financial planning responsibilities while feeling joy, anxiety, and uncertainty about the future. Dr. Sneha Sharma, consultant psychiatrist at Aakash Healthcare opines, “They may experience strain in their relationship with their partners due to increased childcare duties. Men are typically discouraged from expressing emotions, which can lead to stress-related behaviors like social withdrawal, anger, and substance use. It is crucial for fathers to prioritize their health, discuss their concerns with their partners, and challenge traditional gender roles to foster better mental health support for new fathers.”
To address this, new fathers can educate themselves by attending parenting classes and reading relevant literature to feel more prepared and confident. “Building a support network with other new dads can provide shared experiences and practical advice. Maintaining open communication with their partner about fears and responsibilities can foster a supportive and cooperative parenting environment,” suggests Vaibhav Khandelwal, founder of Felicity, a startup focused on mental health.
Retirement: Embracing new horizons
Retirement marks a significant shift from a structured work life to a more flexible, but potentially isolating, lifestyle. The loss of daily routine, usual social interaction and lack of a clear sense of purpose can affect mental health.
Ravindra Khare, who retired from the Canadian embassy, shares the impact of this transition: “When I was at the job, my days were so hectic that I would look for a minute to relax. I never attended family functions unless absolutely unavoidable. Even if I went, I was always in a hurry and rushed. Contrary to those times, today I crave that lifestyle. I miss the hustle. I am in therapy now because I felt so isolated after retirement that I started living in my head. I would spend hours over-thinking. Retirement, I believe, demands a significant transition in life. It is like going back to infancy. I lost my wife when my kids were barely five, and without a companion, it is even harder. Although we now have mobile phones and the internet, I do not know how to use a smart phone. I spend my days watching the news on television and reading the newspaper twice or even three times.”
Khare emphasises that people should plan how their life will be post-retirement. He believes that having a clear plan and purpose can help mitigate the isolation and mental health challenges that often accompany retirement.
Akunuri Murali, a former IAS officer who took voluntary retirement, shares his perspective on the retirement phase of an individual’s life. “The perception of retirement varies from person to person. Traditionally, it is viewed as a time to sit back and relax, but I have never seen it that way. In today’s world, there are countless opportunities and avenues for engaging in welfare work and community service. Retirement, for me, is not an end but a new beginning- to explore new interests, contribute to society, and remain active and fulfilled. The possibilities are endless, and it is up to each individual to decide how they wish to embrace this phase of life.”
Coping mechanisms include finding new passions through hobbies, volunteer work, or part-time employment, which can provide structure and purpose. Physical activity is crucial for both physical and mental health, reducing the risk of depression and promoting a sense of well-being. Maintaining and forming new social connections through clubs, community groups, or regular social activities can combat loneliness and promote happiness.
Body confident: Navigating men’s body image
A survey conducted by the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine found that about 30% of Indian men experience body image dissatisfaction. “Muscle dysmorphia, a form of body dysmorphic disorder, involves an obsessive preoccupation with muscle size and physique. Men suffering from this condition often engage in excessive exercise, strict dieting, or steroid use, leading to physical and mental health issues. Treatment options include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help individuals recognise and change distorted thoughts about their bodies. Joining support groups can provide a platform for sharing experiences and receiving encouragement from others facing similar challenges. Consulting with fitness and nutrition experts to develop a balanced and healthy approach to exercise and diet is also beneficial,” explains Dr. Trishi Tangri, a consultant psychologist in Hyderabad.
She also says, “Men who are overweight or obese often face societal stigma and discrimination, leading to low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Addressing these issues involves focusing on sustainable lifestyle changes rather than quick-fixes, which can lead to long-term health improvements and better self-esteem. Working with healthcare providers, including dietitians and therapists, can offer tailored support and strategies for managing weight and mental health. Encouraging a body-positive mindset and challenging societal norms about the ‘ideal’ body can help reduce internalised stigma and promote self-acceptance.”
Aging: Embracing life’s next chapter
As men age, they experience a range of physical changes, including hair loss, weight gain, and reduced muscle mass, which can negatively impact body image and self-esteem. These changes often lead to increased stress and anxiety about their appearance and physical capabilities. A study by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that men’s concerns about body image tend to intensify with age, often due to societal pressures and comparisons to younger peers.
Anish Yohan Kuruvilla, an actor and filmmaker known for his notable work in Telugu cinema, shares his perspective on aging: “I believe that our mental health is paramount. When we are emotionally balanced, it positively impacts our physical health. Today, there are numerous sources of stress-climate change, economic challenges, illness, and more. While it is encouraging to see more men speaking openly about their vulnerabilities and mental health, there remains much work to be done in this area.”
The filmmaker also highlights how accessing quality healthcare has become costly. Recent research highlights the growing prevalence of dementia among aging Indian men. According to a study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, India is projected to see a significant increase in dementia cases, with men being particularly affected due to lifestyle factors, genetic predispositions, and limited access to healthcare. This cognitive decline can further exacerbate body image issues, as men may struggle with maintaining their physical health and appearance.
“Moreover, societal standards of beauty often emphasise youth and physical fitness, adding to the stress aging men face. The pressure to maintain a youthful appearance can lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive use of cosmetic products, hair restoration treatments, and even surgical interventions. A report from the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine indicates that the stigma surrounding aging and body image can contribute to mental health issues, including depression and anxiety,” points out psychologist Dr. Sujatha Rajamani, psychiatrist at KIMS hospital.
She further adds, “Strategies for addressing these challenges should include fostering a positive attitude towards aging and recognizing it as a natural part of life. Engaging in age-appropriate physical activities can help maintain a healthy body and a positive self-image. It is also beneficial to discuss concerns with peers, family, or mental health professionals, who can provide reassurance and practical advice. Encouraging open conversations about aging and body image can help reduce societal stigma and promote self-acceptance, ultimately supporting mental well-being.”
In essence, men’s mental health is a multifaceted issue influenced by life transitions and body image concerns. By recognising and addressing these challenges appropriately, we can foster a culture of openness and support, encouraging men to seek help and engage in healthy coping mechanisms. Promoting mental health awareness and breaking down societal stigmas are crucial steps toward ensuring the well-being of men in our communities.
