She can lead: Breaking the ‘Too Emotional’ and ‘Too Bossy’ labels

Many women have encountered their share of labels. One day, she is being “too bossy” and the other day, “weak” and “frail”. And it’s not just the story of one woman, it’s the story of the majority woman that walks the earth today. Over half of the female population in India face negative labels once a week – and that’s just the fragment of the bias deeply embedded in the fabric of today’s society.
Imagine some of your favourite brand labels –  a Gucci, an Armani, a Prada, a Zara, or maybe a Nike or a Glow & Lovely. Brand labels are not just name tags, they are thoughtfully crafted marketing weapons that attack your mind and paint a picture of perception. Similarly, just like brand labels, personality labels are psychological weapons, one of the most dangerous types of warfare in the artillery, which penetrates through our mind and attacks the psychological comfort of the host.
Double bind of female leadership
Women in leadership roles often face a double bind – society expects us to be nurturing and compassionate, yet when we exhibit these traits in professional settings, we are tagged as “too emotional” and perceived as “weak”. On the other hand, if we are bold and assertive, we are labeled as “difficult” and “dominating”. The truth is, women in the society are viewed and interpreted through a distorted societal lens, which is blurred by the smog of cultural and cognitive biases – both conscious and unconscious. The skewed cultural narrative is shaped by gendered expectations, lack of knowledge of biological and psychological differences in men and women, power dynamics and casual misogyny.
Myth of “Too Emotional”
One of the biggest stereotypes about women in leadership is that we are “too emotional”. However, being emotional is not a weakness, it’s one of the most crucial ingredients in leadership. Emotional intelligence is one of the highly sought after skills in leaders. The emotional quotient of a woman is higher than a man which enables them to connect with people, build trust and navigate complex relationships – some of the most critical skills in leadership. A study of 137 leader-reports in Europe during COVID-19 found out that despite women having higher anxiety levels, it’s less likely that their emotions impact their leadership. In fact, emotions drive our leadership.
Reclaiming “Bossy” for Bold and Powerful
“Bossy” is the word thrown at women who take charge. On one hand, where men’s decisiveness is seen as strength and passion, women’s strong-willed, determined and confident personality is labelled as irrational and dominating. But here’s the reality: leadership is a complex cocoon spun around by multiple characteristics, including decisiveness, confidence and the ability to make tough calls. And if a woman has to be bold and make some tough calls, does that make her bossy? Perhaps. But more importantly, it makes her a leader.
Women are redefining leadership
From Indira Gandhi to Kamala Harris, from Indra Nooyi to Whitney Wolfe Herd, women are now at the helm, perfectly capable of leading from the front. They are challenging the long-standing status-quo and breaking down the powerful societal structures. They don’t conform to outdated expectations anymore, they reshape the narrative.
Breaking the labels: How women can lead fearlessly
Own your leadership style – You don’t have to mimic traditional gender roles. You don’t have to give in to generations old gendered expectations. And you don’t have to limit yourselves to gendered workplace settings. You shape your own personality and that shapes your own style. Embrace who you are.

Challenge the narrative – Being silent and ignorant may protect you from discomfort. But, it’s not going to suppress the issue. The next time someone labels you “too bossy” or “too emotional”, confront them. Often, these labels are rooted in bias rather than reality.

Surround yourself with supportive networks – Find mentors, allies and like-minded people who support you. Lead by example. Be the role mode you wish you had. Learn from dynamic female leaders.

4. Encourage the next generation – You cannot change the past, but you can definitely reshape the future. Inspire and empower young women to embrace leadership without the fear of labels. The more we normalise female leadership, the less these stereotypes will hold weight.
Women are not “too emotional” or “too bossy” – we are visionaries and changemakers. The key is to keep moving and expand the horizons of our leadership. So, to every woman who has been told she is too much – keep leading. Keep showing up, making decisions, and proving that leadership comes in many forms.
Because she can lead, and she will!

(The author, Shruti Swaroop is the Founder, of Embrace Consulting, and Co-Founder International inclusion Alliance.)