Love has no longer remained a personal experience. The advent of social media has seen love turn into a social concept as well, struggling to prove its stance on every pedestal. Social media has transformed the way we perceive love, influencing everything from how we communicate with partners to what we expect from relationships. From instagram, twitter and tiktok, it shapes and moulds our very idea of how love should be, curating a specific and idealistic image universally, overlooking personal differences.
Although social media showers its boons in the form of opening up taboos, starting conversations, being informative and most importantly, easing communication, it also brings in relationship anxiety, social standards and unrealistic expectations. Let us understand this better.
The rise of relationship goals
From trending videos, curated pictures, extravagant gestures and gifts, to perfect looking romance and a happy-go-lucky life, social media never fails to sugarcoat seamlessly. But does this idealistic portrayal of relationships actually fit in the real world?
Unrealistic expectations
The way we see relationships on social media or how love is described as, it sets unrealistic expectations in more than one way. Couples make their relationships appear perfect by posting well chosen pictures, passionate gestures and lavish presents. In reality, however, social media simply shows the best bits. Because the difficulties, disagreements, and ordinary parts of relationships often go unnoticed, people tend to think that love should always be exciting and flawless.
The trap of comparison
Not just personally, social media also affects the idea of one’s own relationship and love in contrast to others. Through all negatives and positives, it has become second nature for everyone to compare their relationships to the ones on the gram and scrutinize every bit. Seeing “perfect couples” online makes people feel like their own relationships are inadequate. The cycle continues from factual ideologies to perceived rights and wrongs, doing more harm than good.
Dissatisfaction and disappointment
Many people expect constant excitement and validation in relationships, leading to disappointment when reality doesn’t match their expectations. Social media overlooks personal differences, unique personalities, and different love languages. Regardless of any situational or circumstantial factor, it sets love on a pedestal so high and unreachable that disappointment is inevitable.
The pressure to perform well online
Social media has created an expectation to publicly display affection and relationship milestones, from anniversary posts to couple selfies, regular updates are necessary to maintain their social media presence. But is that even their actual life?
Validation seeking
The algorithm changes every other day, and with it increases the pressure to perform. Likes, comments, and shares have no longer remained just words. They are instant sources of dopamine and people are hungry. So much so that the happiness, peace and stability of a relationship depends on how it looks online.
Jealousy and insecurity
Not just from other couples or idealistic standards of love, jealousy and insecurity stem from the very image created of how true love looks universally. If a partner doesn’t post about the relationship, it can create doubts about their commitment. Disregarding personal choices and privacy terms, posting online and being open about their relationship online has become more of a norm, a necessity, instead of just a harmless trend.
Shallow displays of love
Public gestures sometimes replace genuine intimacy, leading people to prioritise online appearance over real connection. Instead of actually looking into the relationship and introspecting what works for them and what they can work on, people focus on how it looks virtually and if it meets the perfect expectations. As long as their social media meets the pace, their relationship meets the peace.
Trust issues, relationship conflicts and media
Social media provides constant access to other people’s lives, which can sometimes lead to jealousy and trust issues in relationships. From liking someone else’s photo to following an ex, even innocent online behaviors can trigger insecurity.
Online monitoring
Social media eases access into someone’s privacy. Technological advances have compromised people’s personal lives in huge ways. Seeing a partner interact with someone attractive online can spark overthinking. Stalking behaviors are increasing everyday and can become extremely productive.
Ease of micro-cheating
Other than newer terms like casual relationships, situationships, and whatnot, social media and interactive websites have also given rise to anonymous behavior. Anonymity often reduces the sense of morality, promoting emotional cheating, external involvement, and higher amounts of secrecy and infidelity.
Social media triggers
Social media creates standards that limit the idea of relationships. Perceived behaviours considered acceptable and appreciated or inappropriate and intolerable are no longer based on factual terms. Social media governs the understanding of normalcy and how one needs to follow it to fall into the righteous and supposedly acceptable criteria.
Love in the digital age
The digital world and technological advancement has led to escapism into virtual reality. From relationship trends, social media’s pressure and fear of missing out, to the access of privacy and social media triggers, everything in the virtual world is affecting real-world relationships. Online behaviors have turned problematic beyond a normal range.
Social media affects our understanding of love and everything surrounding it. from setting unrealistic expectations to influencing trust and self-worth. While it has benefits, like helping people connect, it also creates challenges that can distort our idea of what love should be. Love in the digital age is both deeply connected and paradoxically distant. With dating apps, social media, and instant messaging, we can meet, communicate, and express affection faster than ever before. Yet, these same technologies often create miscommunication, unrealistic expectations, and emotional detachment.
However, digital love isn’t all bad, it allows long-distance relationships to flourish, fosters deeper emotional connections through constant communication, and provides access to potential partners we might never meet otherwise. The key is balancing technology with genuine human intimacy.
Conclusion
Social media has completely reshaped the way we connect with each other, both for better and for worse. On one hand, it lets us stay close even when we’re far apart and share our lives in ways that feel immediate and real. On the other, scrolling through carefully curated snapshots of other people’s lives can leave us feeling insecure or unsure about our own relationships. Ultimately, it’s not social media itself that’s the problem, it’s how we let it influence our perceptions and interactions. When we set healthy boundaries and choose genuine, heartfelt connections over digital validation, we can create relationships that truly thrive.
(The author, Sidhharrth S Kumaar, is a life and relationship coach, at NumroVani.)
