Broadly speaking, a family is a group of two or more people related by birth, marriage, or adoption who live together. All such related people are considered as members of one family. Historically, for several millennia, the Indian subcontinent had been home to the Joint Hindu Family or Hindu Undivided Family, which traditionally consisted of many generations living in the same home.
The generations included grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, nieces, and nephews, all living under one roof and utilising a common kitchen and often spending from a common purse, contributed by all. Typically, a joint family consisted of a husband and wife, their sons, their unmarried daughters, and their sons’ wives and children. The pattern used to be repeated over many generations. Due to western influence and prolonged spells of foreign rule, the joint family system broke up, making way for nuclear families.
Post break-up of the joint family system, all these years, the term ‘family’ signified the ubiquitous nuclear families; the culmination of the bourgeois dream of a marriage (be it arranged or love) with two adults consenting to be ideal parents and producing two or more hopefully wonderful kids. Not anymore. Today, the concept of a family is undergoing far-reaching changes. With all support structures of the joint family gone, and with a plethora of insecurities plaguing even double-income families, nuclear families too have been adapted to suit individual preferences.
The Pioneer’s Amartya Smaran looks at ramifications of the evolving concept of family in the country, which is otherwise poised to make the most of its demographic dividend.
Amidst the foregoing social changes, these days a lot of young couples in India are reconciled to conceiving out of wedlock. Of course, the practice of casually intruding into the personal space of individuals and asking them when exactly they are going to have kids has always been there. Previously most of the responses to such queries were somewhat guilty or tempered. Now, due to heightened awareness levels and a radical shift in the mindset, couples have no qualms in breaking moulds and planning all stages of their relationship without feeling guilty. The flip side of such relationships is that kids are no longer a priority, at least in the initial years of partnership of a couple.
As per the 2011 census, about 30.9% of the Indian population is in the 10-24 age group. Reports suggest that India is going through something called population momentum due to its sizeable young population. Therefore, one neednot worry about the country’s population shrinking any time soon. India has already achieved replacement-level fertility (2.1 or fewer children), according to the National Family Health Survey-5 (2019-21).
Replacement level fertility is the level of fertility at which a population exactly replaces itself from one generation to the next. Every woman should have an average of 2.1 children to replace the dying population of a country. In 1992-1993, India’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) stood at 3.4 children. Going by NFHS-5 data of 2.1 children, that is a decline of 1.3 children from 1992-1993. If we go as far back as 1971, the TFR was around 4.1 in the urban population and 5.4 in the rural population.
Over the last decade, the General Fertility Rate(GFR) has declined by about 20%. GFR is the number of live births per thousand women in the reproductive age group of 15-49 years. The average GFR has dwindled from 86.1 from 2008-2010 to 68.7 during 2018-2020, according to Sample Registration System (SRS) data 2020. This decline indicates a reduction in population growth and experts say that it is a good sign. However, if we think about why there has been a steep decline in the first place, factors such as the higher availability of contraceptives, increased age of marriage, and literacy rate among women come into the picture.
Between 2001 and 2011, the number of single women in the country has grown by 39%. In India, despite its largest Millennial population (born between 1981 and 1996), only 44% of them were married by 2019, according to PEW research. Whereas 61% of Baby Boomers (born between 1946 and1960) were married by the age of 23-38 and 81% of the Silent Generation (born between 1928 and 1945) were married by the age of 23-38. This shows a drastic change in trends and generational progress. That apart, more and more couples all over the world are preferring child-free marriages.
“What I have noticed is that people have differing reasons for opting for a child-free life,” says Prof. Murty S. Kopparthi, Adjunct Professor, School of International Business, Andhra University (AUSIB), Visakhapatnam. “Some say it is for their career and others say it is for some issues relating to finances. One strange thing that made me think is Generation Z is saying it is for freedom. People are now looking for more freedom to think about themselves and they consider having children a kind of burden.”
Couples are not really concerned about the cost aspect of childcare. They are more concerned about how having children is going to take away or at least restrict their freedom. They really may not be able to focus on their career and what they really want to be in life. They consider that having children is going to take away most of their time.
Therefore, they are afraid to take up the responsibility of having children just because they want freedom from any kind of burden, according to Prof. Murty S. Kopparthi.Looking at the impact of child-free marriages in the Scandinavian countries, the professor explains:
“Scandinavian countries are now recording a zero-population growth rate, which means there are more deaths than births. They are compelled to depend on and invite migrant labour into their country. Now they are most likely in a state where there is a lot of conflict between the natives as well as the migrant labour. So, there are social implications. Even France and Germany are facing the same problems because the issue of not having children is impacting their social framework…
And literally pushing the country into a state where they are going to have many social issues.”
China had implemented strictly a one-child policy from the 1980s to 2016. This measure, taken by the government to naturally stabilise the population, eventually took a toll on the country’s demographic profile. The median age in India is 28.4 years, whereas, in China, it is 38.4 years. This means China has a smaller younger population because of the coercive one-child policy. Realising that the policy could have serious economic implications, China modified its policy in 2016 and allowed couples to have two children. And formally declared in August 2021 that married couples could have as many as three children.
Prof. Murty says the one-child policy reduced the percentage of the working population in China. “If you look at China, they used to have a single-child family policy. Now given the kind of economic growth that is happening in China and when they look at the population growth rate, their percentage of the working population is coming down drastically because of the single-child policy the government had adopted.
The government relooked at it and relaxed the policy. If people continue to entertain this kind of thinking that one should have more freedom and shouldnot take up any kind of responsibility, those societies are going to suffer a lot because we have several examples of Scandinavian countries, China, and Japan.”
On a brighter note, the expert remarks: “Around 60%-65% of India’s population is in the age bracket of 15 to 35 years. That is one of the reasons why our country could have the highest presence of the working population. Most importantly, we have productive population. We define productivity in terms of the ratio of output to input(s). Thus, having a higher productive population is really going to help any nation to produce more goods. The average per capita income of India is growing very fast.”
“However, given the kind of trends, the thinking pattern of most Indians is tilting towards imitating their western counterparts,” opines Prof. Murty. “The changing mindset of the western world is going to have a greater impact on India. I believe that the Indian population growth rate may also decline over the years, and probably we may also experience the same kind of problems that the western world is facing right now.”
Sharing her thoughts on why there has been a rapid change in the attitudes when it comes to having children, Dr. Ponnalatha, a gynaecologist, says: “Newly married couples, be it in the banking sector, IT, or anywhere, are dreaming of a materialistic lifestyle. With the heavy work pressure and the EMI payments, having children comes last for them.”
She amplifies: “Now they are of the view that they can have kids at a later stage through IVF (In-vitro fertilisation) or some other procedures. People are only postponing but no one is planning. By the time they are financially and emotionally ready, the biological age has kicked away, especially for females, and most of them are aware of the complications. Still, very few people go ahead with it and even amongst them, many are restricting themselves to a single kid. Couples think they can give a gap to conceive the second child, but after three or four years, they feel it is hectic and must give up their careers.”
Saraswathi Thota, a database consultant based in Hyderabad, is the mother of a three-year-old boy. Since her husband is a marine engineer and away from home for four months at a time, she is the one who takes care of the baby for most of the year. The couple is in their early thirties, and they didnot contemplate much to have their first child. However, they are not keen to have another child.
Saraswathi Thota says: “It’s a vicious circle because finances are down, and the expenditure is more. Even if we both earn so much, I donot think it would suffice for both the kids. Who would take the responsibility when we both are working? If we want to hire someone to take up the responsibility, the expenditure is even going up. We fall into that vicious circle, and I don’t see a break. It is going to continue. Even if we think of having a second baby, we are not going to be keen. Also, we will have the guilt that we are not able to take full responsibility for the kid.”
Just to cite an example of how expensive it could get for parents to get their children educated, between 2012-2022 in India, education costs soared by 10-12%, according to Edufund. Reports suggest that an overall expenditure of Rs 30 lakh goes in for schooling a child from age 3 to age 17 in a private school. The rise in child-raising costs stops many parents from even thinking about having kids.
Identifying factors contributing to couples’ hesitancy to go for a child, Dr. Ponnalatha explains: “What I feel is that people from economically backward classes donot mind having two to three kids. That is because they feel these kids will be there as a pillar of strength and support in the future. The fear of, ‘How will we take care of the child if one of us drops out of work?’ exists in the lower stratum.
Therefore, they postpone until they become self-sufficient. When they finally become self-sufficient, one is not certain how life would treat them. When it comes to higher income groups, they feel having one kid is more than enough. Some people who are aged 35-40 years, want to postpone it. These people feel they can only help society by giving charity or adoption! Their thought process is different.”
Shashank Singh, software engineer and father of a 9-month-old baby, says he ended up spending a bomb on babysitters. “In my case, we didnot have any support of elders to look after the baby. I do not mean to say that elders need to do everything. Only that one word of advice or two would do and it would make a lot of difference. You will be shocked to hear the number. I spend around Rs 45,000 per month on the first nanny and Rs 40,000 for the second one for the first couple of months. Their duties would be to take care of the mother. They do not cook; these nannies wash your clothes and keep your room neat and stay with the baby because the mothers get very tired. Having kids is an individual decision. Obviously, it is a big responsibility because you need to take care of the kid 24/7.
It is a never-ending duty, but the moment the baby smiles back at you, and starts telling words like mama, papa; that feeling is completely different. If you have an elderly person at home and observe them and the babies growing from age 0-5, you can see the reverse transition happening. My father is 75 and this kid is 9 months old, I can compare them. They behave similarly.”
Laws pertaining to women also count. According to the Maternity Benefit Act 1961, a woman can avail of benefits under the law if they have been employed with the company for 80 odd days in the past 12 months. The act was drafted with the intention to protect the dignity of motherhood and provide financial assistance to women. Maternity benefits of at least Rs. 6,000 per child is a legal right of all Indian women under the National Food Security Act, of 2013. Amendments have been made to the existing act under the Maternity Amendment Bill 2017.
The latest amendment mandates a paid leave of 26 weeks. Earlier, under the Maternity Benefit Act 1961, women were permitted only 12 weeks’ leave. Fathers can take up to two weeks of paid leave after or shortly before the birth of the child. The Paternity Benefit Bill was proposed in Parliament after the Maternity Benefit Act was amended in 2017. The Act provides for paternity leave of 15 days, extendable up to three months, including for those engaged in the unorganised and private sectors. Government employees are legally granted 15 days’ paternity leave and there is no mandatory rule as such in private organizations.
In Finland, parents are given 14 months’ paid leave to share, and they can further avail of additional childcare leave up until their child is three. India is neither too liberal nor too harsh with its policies, but a careful revision of some of the policies would help a lot of those who want to be parents with their bundle of joy.
Anusha and Vishwak [names changed as per the couple’s request] are a young working couple from the city. “We are happily married for a year now. And we don’t want to burden ourselves with kids. We’ve decided that we wouldn’t be having kids mainly because it takes a lot of unnecessary commitment and we’re not ready for it at all. We wonder how we should tell this to our parents because they’ve already started pestering us with their questions. Having kids is a choice and we made our choice. It is not a compulsion. Life is a lot simpler when kids are not around. As a woman, I’ll have to give up a career and it’s going to be difficult for me to get back on track, both mentally and physically. I can’t afford that.”
Well! Coupling and then having or not having kids is a matter of personal choice. The moot question is: Is the choice governed by personal reasons or sheer trends? To each their own.
